I will admit to one other person in conversation when I am getting defensive and tell them about what I am defending against.
This will still the mind in conversation. A pause before explaining to another what is making us defensive makes this easier. Tell us what is a sign (thought, feeling in your body, word) that lets you know you are about to get defensive.
This Daily Stillness has been recycled from previously published ones:
• #tds23 Today I practice noticing my defenses (Jul 23, 2015)